8 January 2025

5 practical tips for effective divorce mediation

By Marcella Verwoerd

Once a couple have made the decision to break up, mediation can be a valuable means of resolving conflicts and reaching agreement in an emotionally charged situation. To ensure a smooth mediation process, we provide you with 5 practical tips for divorce mediation in the article below.

1. Open communication

During a mediation process, open and honest communication is a key element. It is important that partners listen to each other, share their feelings and views and ask each other questions to understand the other’s perspective. By communicating in this way, misunderstandings can be avoided and partners can work together to reach agreements that are mutually beneficial. This process is of course guided by a mediator, who helps partners reach agreements together that can be set out in a parenting plan and/or settlement.

2. Focus on interests, not viewpoints

Instead of sticking to viewpoints, it is often more effective to focus on the underlying interests of both partners. When partners separate, emotions can run high and it is precisely at this point that it is important to understand what is really important. Together with the mediator, joint interests will be considered rather than conflicting viewpoints. As a result, it is possible to reach good solutions that meet the interests of both partners.

3. Willingness to compromise

It is important in mediation that both partners are willing to compromise. Mediation is difficult if both partners insist on adhering to their own ideas. It is helpful if both partners are open to other ideas, so that agreements may be reached that feel right for both partners. This may sometimes involve making concessions. By adopting a constructive attitude and being willing to compromise, the probability of a successful and lasting outcome of the mediation increases.

4. Documents readily available

Having all the necessary documents and information can contribute to an effective mediation process. Ex-partners should ensure the timely availability of financial data, legal documents and other relevant information. This helps create clarity and structure during the mediation process, making it easier to reach agreements.

5. Be realistic

Our final tip is to be realistic about the expectations of your soon-to-be ex-partner. The choice to break up is often for a reason and sometimes has to do with personalities that are no longer fully compatible. Personalities will not change suddenly.

During the mediation, however, there is a focus on the different roles partners have towards each other, often creating more space for each other. One focus will be on redefining their roles from partners to ex-partners. In cases where the partners have children together, we will also redefine the role of partner to a role of co-parent and how – after a divorce – ex-partners can continue to parent together in the best possible way.

Divorce mediation

Divorce mediation can lead to lasting solutions that are customised for both partners, taking into account the specific needs and interests of each partner. A successful mediation can also lead to a faster and therefore less costly divorce settlement. In most cases, it will also lead to improved communication between the ex-partners, which provides a better basis for co-parenting or other future arrangements.

More information

Do you have any questions regarding this article or are you looking for a mediator? Please do not hesitate to contact us.

Marcella Verwoerd

Marcella Verwoerd

Lawyer

‘Offering support in difficult times with empathy and professionalism’

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