15 years of parenting plan

While you divorce as partners, you do not divorce as parents: you remain parents for life. By introducing the parenting plan, legislators wanted to put divorcing parents on the right path to improved cooperation after the divorce. 15 years of parenting plan, but what is a parenting plan? For whom is it mandatory? What should it actually contain and what should you pay attention to? You can read more about it in this blog post.

What is a parenting plan?

Since 1 January 1998, joint parental authority continues automatically after a divorce. Until then, the court was required to decide on parental authority. In most cases, parental authority in a divorce was given to one of the two parents. However, parental authority by one parent was increasingly seen as undesirable and not in line with social trends towards more equal parenting.

At the same time, joint parental authority resulted in a huge increase in conflicts. During the relationship, parents usually agree with each other, after a relationship breakup they agree less often. The parenting plan was introduced to reduce post-divorce legal disputes over the children. A parenting plan is a document in which divorcing parents record agreements about the care and upbringing of the children after the divorce.

For whom is it mandatory?

All parents who exercise joint parental authority over their children must draw up a parenting plan when they end their relationship. It does not matter whether it is a marriage, a registered partnership or a breakup of the relationship. As long as both parents have parental authority, you will need to sit down together to draw up a parenting plan. In order to dissolve a marriage or registered partnership, parents are even required to draw up a parenting plan before going to court. This is because a court will not consider the divorce petition if no agreements have been reached about the children. Only in exceptional cases will the court condone the omission of a parenting plan. In that case, the court will decide on the most important aspects regarding the children.

What should it contain?

Except for agreements on parental authority, you can basically include any arrangement in a parenting plan, as long as you agree. However, there are four mandatory sections that must appear in every parenting plan:

1. A care arrangement: when are the children with whom;
2. The division of the costs of the children (child maintenance);
3. How you inform each other about the children and make decisions about them together;
4. How you involved the children in drawing up the plan.

Furthermore, you can also include agreements about house rules, social media, pocket and clothing money, dealing with family members, birthdays, supervising doctor’s appointments, homework, etc. Whatever you feel comfortable with can be included, although it is important not to include too many details. If a parenting plan is too extensive or detailed, it is more likely to cause conflicts in the future.

Involve, but do not burden

Whatever arrangements you make, try to find out what the children think as much as possible. Children who are involved in the divorce can often cope much better. They find it easier to accept the plans and agreements even though they may not like them as much. It is mandatory that the parenting plan includes how you have involved the children.

The level of involvement should be appropriate to the age of the child. You should also make sure that you do not involve the children too much in the process. Being involved is different from getting your way. Some children find it difficult to deal with important adult subjects. There are also children who feel they have to choose between one parent or the other, such as when their opinion is asked about deciding on a care arrangement. You should therefore be mindful of this and, if necessary, ask for professional help.

More Information

Do you have questions about the parenting plan? If so, please feel free to contact me. As a lawyer and psychologist, I can brainstorm with you and give advice on possible arrangements that suit your situation.